Basement Rascals

The dilithium crystals made of Lever 2000 boxes, glistened from behind their tinker toy warp core enclosure. A windows 95 computer showed the star field screen saver on a fifteen inch CRT. Pen-tech mechanical pencil lead cases blinked with isolinear information while Christmas lights hung from the ceiling with only red bulbs, poised at the ready in the case of a Romulan attack. Jefferies tubes (lined up dining room chairs with a blanket over them) snaked through the house providing access to the rest of the ship. It was here at my friend Dan's house where my continuing mission would begin.

“Ready the engines, prepare for maximum warp.” Captain Dan ordered.
But sir we're still in space dock, we can't just.”
I was always the realistic one.
“Damn it, the Enterprise is the most advanced ship in the fleet lets see what this baby can do.”
“But sir the bay doors are still closed.”
“Bahhhh ready phaser banks one and two, prepare to blast our way out. Set course for the Neutral Zone.”
“But sir we cant just."
“Damn it, I'm the captain of this ship and I say we go.”

I tap out the orders and coordinates on the LCARS control panels made of laminated printer paper and Crayola washable markers. All the while secretly sending communications to space dock control to open the bay doors. What was I supposed to do, it was his turn to play captain.


After many successful battles with Romulan war birds we arrived at a new unexplored alien planet (aka the back yard) via the transporter (aka running up the stairs really really fast making a whooshing noise).

The imaginary chimes of the transporter rang through our ears as we materialized The hot summer sun made our official Star Trek polyester Halloween costumes stick to the skin. Nylon black utility belts heavy with tricorders and type two phasers, hung low around our waists.

“Away team to Enterprise, maintain standard orbit."

We began our mission to save the universe form certain destruction. Our tricorders constantly scanning, ensuring the atmosphere was safe to breathe, and of course always looking for those alien life forms.
Passing birds and cars became hostile alien attackers which had to be dealt with using a few bursts from our 'Playmates' Phasers. Somewhere a neighborhood mom washing the dishes looks out the window and mutters something about us being nerds and how she wishes school would start again.

We play well into the afternoon fighting off the gratuitous Gorn, exploring crashed alien ships (aka the swing set), and studying the strange voodoo race known as sister.

The light of day has now slipped away and become dusk, our supplies of Starfleet AA Power packs were becoming weak.

“Blast we need to beam back to the ship and resupply.” “Away team to Enterprise two to beam up.” (woooshh).

The ships cook (aka mom) had replicated the evenings rations, macaroni and cheese with hot dogs, almost as good as Klingon delicacies like gagh, except for these noodles weren't moving.

“Delicious.” we mutter.


“I don't wanna go to bed”
“Its past your bed time.”
“But I'm not tired”
My mother, tired herself and most probably trying to avoid a late night temper tantrum hesitantly agrees.
If I let you stay up do you promise to be quiet while I watch TV?”
“I promise.”

Oh man, Mom was actually going to let me stay up, and watch TV with her, and on a school night. Dude If I play my cards right I could totally get some cookies out of this.

Somewhere my little sister was upstairs trying to sneak down and see why I wasn't in bed. Creeeekkkk, the one stair you could never step on light enough gave away her position.

“Back in your room, go to sleep." Dad with his ever watchful ears yells. The subsequent sound of scampering little feet in a onesie immediately followed.

“Yeah take that Jennie I get to stay up with mom and you don't.” ha I win again.

A soft General Electric Console Television glow emanated over the sandy carpet of the family room. Patrick Stewart boldly stated. “Space, the final frontier.” For the next fifty minutes, teddy bear in arms, I watched intently making certain not to make a noise.


“Oh man space fights, robots, aliens, laser guns. This is the bestest show ever. There is no way Mom is ever making me go to bed early again, and if she tries oh yeah I've got a special scream worked up just for the occasion.

All it took was four words.


“Prepare to leave space dock, aft thrusters ahead one quarter port and starboard to station keeping. Ready impulse engines as soon as we've cleared the outer doors.”

“Baaaha, engaging warp drive.
“Come on man you cant do that the engines haven't even been tested.”
“You always do this, it takes us forever to get anywhere when your captain.”
“At least when I'm captain I don't push the ship past its limits.”
“What, we always make it.”
“We make it because I play the engineer and I'm a miracle worker.”
“Damn it man, I'm the captain of this vessel and you don't follow my orders,I'll, I'll quit playing.”
“Contact the station master and let him know were on our way.”
“What course sir?”
“Second star on the right and straight on til morning...
or......or.......maybe Risa....”

“Number One, do we have a Horga'hn aboard?”

It was my turn to be captain.