11. It grew a Goatee.
10. There's blood dripping from the case and you haven't installed any hardware recently.
9. Your monitor starts spinning and all the text turns green.
8. "Games" folder suddenly renamed to "Come Play With Us"
7. CD-tray keeps ejecting "The Bible on CD" every time you try to read it.
6. Firewall keeps popping up balloons that read "I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Dave."
5. Your e-mail account gets suspended for suspected spamming due to 666 messages per day sent to satan@msn.com
4. No matter what you type it all comes out "redrum".
3. You recently inserted a CD from Sony Music.
2. It keeps trying to open port 666 in your firewall.
1. BSOD instructions tell you to say "The power of DOS compels you!" in order to reboot.
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