Never Go to Hooters with a femmie guy

For dinner tonight Sodexo was kind enough to give us hot wings. Can you believe it!!! Real actual hot wings. Being the first ones at the Cafeteria my room mate Chris and I quickly got in line for those tasty little morsels of goodness. Pounding down the fist serving we ran up and got seconds, thirds, fourths, I made it all the way of to my sixth helping before I could not eat anymore. But somewhere during the third serving I was reminded of my senior class trip.
Stopping in Baltimore harbor for lunch on our way to New York two busses filled mostly of high school girls poured into the souvenir shops in the harbor mall. As for the small contingent of male of passengers, we trudged along the walkway never minding the girls, passing the miscellaneous shops, fast food places and attractions and walked straight into HOOTERS. It was a rainy day and we were early in the lunch hour so we had our choice of sections. My buds and I choose a tall bar table on the window side of the restaurant so we could watch the multiple sporting events being shown on numerous big screen TV’s. I had been to Hooters in the past but the majority of guys sitting at my table including Dan (best friend, you know the star trek guy) had never before experienced the atmosphere.

Our waitress, who I am sure was on a full scholarship and I think was named Kelley, walked over to our table and with the traditional flirting manner asked if she could get us anything. I knew from the start exactly what I wanted “Cajun style super fire hot wings, twenty of them” I said. She continued around the table when she got to the Newbie’s. Dan and Pat (who, don’t get me wrong, are great guys but sometimes a little funny). See Dan could not figure out what he wanted and was scared he would not like the food.

“and for you?” she asked in that voice almost all Hooters Waitress have.

“Well I don’t know what’s good here?” Dan said reluctantly, obviously still attempting to adjust to the atmosphere, as his hands flared wildly in the air like Christopher Lowles on the Home and Garden Channel.

As he spoke those words my mind filled with “Oh my god he did not just say that, we should have left him on the bus, he just screwed up our image”.

Kelly talked with him for a few minutes before he finally settled on a sandwich of some type.

From there on it went down hill. As the cooks make your food the girls are always there to flirt with you ask you questions and try to sell you other souvenirs. The most of us played our cards cool answering her questions with a bit of cockiness. But Dan no matter how hard he tried could not get it down. Answering questions more like a girl then anything else. Poor Dan he just messed up the atmosphere.

Anyway a couple of hours late after our stomachs were full we got on the bus and headed off to New York.

Morale of the story Choose your bud carefully when you go to Hooters.

And Dan has left that experiance in the past and is now a real playa.


papakitty said...

Awwww, how sweet. Very funny, thanks for making me remember it. I think i've gotten better at making decisions though, lol, at least I hope I have. Me and Big Joe might go to Hooters in March at the Mall of America. If he didn't tell you I'm going to drive him back up to school the weekend of March 19th, right after his Spring Break. For some reason my spring break is the week after his.

Joe said...

Dan is taking the train with me, and we are not going to Hooters, just the Hard Rock